Mental Health/Wellbeing

Eliminating Toxic People

Have you ever had a friendship or relationship where it felt like you were putting in more sincere effort than the other person? Or that this person was simply using you for their own benefit and thus sucking you dry of all the love you gave to them? I know I have, and the day I decided I would no longer engage in any relations with these characteristics ultimately changed my life.

Sure, it’s not an easy process. To just walk away from someone you love and care for takes a lot of courage and strength, which can take a while to build up. But when it does, and you find yourself closing the door on your connection with that person, you allow yourself to heal. It’s not wrong or even selfish, in any way, to leave behind someone who takes from you and doesn’t give back. It’s an act of self care.

Relationships, whether romantic or strictly platonic, are meant to be a team effort. Sometimes you may have to give a little more or take a little more, but that shouldn’t be the norm. To lean on one another during tough times is one thing, but to make every part of communication a therapy session is not okay. It’s both draining and a strain on the bond and overall unfair to both parties.

Personally, I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I have allowed myself to take and take and take from someone without giving them the same opportunity. I have also given people everything I had and received nothing in return. Neither spot is a good place to be in.

There needs to be enough respect to understand boundaries of give and take in order for any relationship to be fair. Without these set boundaries, someone will get hurt. That is why it’s so important to pay attention and reflect on the way you feel in regards to how your friends and everyone in your life treats you. Odds are, if you feel like you’re putting more effort in than the other person, you probably are.

From here, you have two choices. Voice your feelings to the other person in hopes of being met with understanding and a solution or to simply decide what is best for you and walk away.

In the end, you probably will miss that person even if they weren’t the best friend or significant other. But it’s easier to miss someone when they’re actually gone than it is to miss them when they’re sitting right next to you. Life is too short to have half-assed relationships and bonds with people. Especially when there are plenty of other people out there that would be more than willing to equally return your love and affection you give.

Like I said, it won’t be easy. You’re going to hurt. But you will heal. Toxic people only make for a toxic life, and no one deserves to feel stuck in such negativity when there are ways out. Stop jeopardizing your happiness and sanity caring for people who don’t do the same. You owe that to yourself.

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