Fitness, Uncategorized

The Importance of Mentors (My Experience)

Today, as I began to prepare for my new position as an online writing mentor for online English classes at my university, I remembered an important person that inspired me and provided guidance.

My neighbor down the block used to be a a competition body builder, though she didn’t even start this fitness journey until she was in her adult years. She then began working as a rehab physical therapist until she got ready to move. During this prep time, she ended up selling me a lot of her home equipment at really good prices simply because she said she believed in me and my fitness journey.

She knew I wasn’t particularly interested in competition prep, but also that I had a passion for exercise and healthy living. Pointers were provided left and right, she corrected my form on a few different lifts, and just made me feel ready to actually go after my goals.

Mentors don’t always have to be famous, rich, family, or whatever other guidelines society has attached to the term. A mentor is someone who guides you in the right direction so you can reach the end goal yourself. They show you possibilities and instill something as simple as hope.

This may sound cheesy considering my job made me think of this short relationship, but I believe any type of influence you have on a other person is important. Whether it be an academic influence, romantic influence, etc., your actions and words do matter.

I have always fluctuated with my workout patterns. I didn’t have a lot of equipment to work with and lacked motivation to go to the gym. Being able to purchase workout equipment in good condition at affordable prices totally changed the game for me. Now I couldn’t have excuses.

My neighbor opened this door for me, and through kind words of encouragement and a few instances of helpful criticism, convinced me to go on this journey open minded. I thank her for this, even if I haven’t gotten the chance to thank her personally.

Role models can be anyone and can impact multiple areas of your life. I suggest finding one who truly inspires you, makes you feel good about yourself, and shows that goals are obtainable.

I am now taking this experience and plan to incorporate it into my semester writing mentor job. Writing isn’t for everyone so I will therefore be pushing a lot of people who were just like me when starting out with fitness, worried, lost, and doubtful.

Support is always important. Feeling valid is a need. Having your own feelings acknowledged is relieving. Form meaningful bonds and connections with those who lift you up to your aspirations rather than pull you away from.

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Social Media Absence

Hello everyone, I apologize for me being MIA more recently. I am working part time and taking an online class, as well as doing some fun things for summer, and helping my mom around the house. I have missed blogging, and am excited to hopefully be back as I’ve created a schedule for myself.

On the other hand, not logging on to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or even here, felt refreshing. For once, my full focus was on my own life and those closest to me instead of on complete strangers who I sometimes find myself comparing myself to. Therefore, I have decided that I will not be as active social media wise as I was before. This does not mean that I care any less about my journey or encouraging/inspiring others to start their own, but more that this is what need to better my mentality even more.

I encourage anyone who finds themselves constantly refreshing apps or social media sites out of boredom, depression, anxiety, etc. to take a break.  This doesn’t mean immediately avoid going on anything; it means to take small steps to minimizing this technology time. I started with the elimination of phone time in the middle of sleepless nights or right when I am getting up for the day. Yes, sometimes I slip up but that’s okay because this is a process.

However you specifically need to decrease the time you spend online in your life is up to you just as the reasons behind the decision to do so is. Personally, depression and anxiety lead to boredom or the shutting down of my motivation and I therefore result to social media which only makes me feel worse. I have noticed changes this week in my happiness levels and how long the highest ones last; they’ve improved as I removed social media time from parts of my days.

Remember, it’s always important to do what you need to do to feel your best. This means ignoring the social norms around you if they make your feelings feel wrong in any way. All emotions are valid. Everybody deals with things and is effected by situations in various ways. If you are going to take a social media break, I suggest you do it for yourself.

Again, I am not disappearing again. I am going to post regularly, just not as often as before. Having a busy life is okay and it is so important you effectively manage your energy and emotional levels during times like these. Get to know yourself while actually being able to enjoy the journey. 29173794aefc369a80e13833e8f9b278

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Understanding Someone With Anxiety

Reblogging this because I don’t think it all could’ve been said any better. This isn’t saying to just give people with anxiety disorders a break, but to make it a point in your relationship with them to understand their struggle and what they need from you. I suppose this is true for any sort of mental or even physical hardship. We really all do need someone who accepts us to lean on and to let us know we matter.

Discovering Your Happiness

Understanding Someone With Anxiety

Hello loves, ❤

To understand someone with anxiety means understanding that a lot of their life is what happens inside their head. It’s understanding that some things they can’t make sense of but they desperately need explanations.

Understanding someone with anxiety means not getting frustrated or annoyed when they send a double text or call too many times or jump to conclusions.

Understanding someone with anxiety means not staring or making a big deal when something has triggered them and they’re picking at their skin to a point where they might not even notice it’s now a cut.

Understanding someone with anxiety means learning when to listen. Because there are so many things going on in their head they are struggling to make sense of it themselves.

Understanding someone with anxiety means knowing when they don’t want to sleep over, the truth is they don’t want to keep you up as they…

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Interviewing With Anxiety

When it comes to things like interviews, most people tend to get nervous as you have to answer questions about yourself in front of a stranger. Attending an interview with an anxiety disorder is these common nerves, but on the next level.

I typically find myself thinking things like “I’m going to mess up” or “I shouldn’t even do this” when I’m prepping/waiting for the meeting itself. These negative thoughts only help to increase that anxiety, which could end up resulting in self sabotage.

Recently, I’ve had three different interviews for jobs and I decided to pay attention to the things I do to help me prep. By trying to reduce my nerves at the same time as increasing my confidence, I had came out of each meeting feeling successful. I did this by:

Reviewing my cover letter, resume, application, and job listing to ensure I had my qualifications, the job requirements, and everything else fresh in my mind. It made me feel more ready to answer (and ask) questions. I also found that I become even more nervous when I over prep by practicing a bunch of questions/scenarios.

– Give yourself more than enough time to get ready and get to be interview. I just find it helpful to be relaxed, not rushed, directly before.

– Wear something you feel comfortable and confident in. This will show in your body language and facial expressions and adds to your first impression.

Smile. This also is key in initial impressions as it gives a hint of your personality. Friendliness is something desired by almost all employers.

Ask questions too. Just because you’re the future employee doesn’t mean you should be the only one answering questions. Yes, you need to be a good fit for the company, but they also need to be a good fit for you. It’s also useful to know anything that’s unclear to you so you can make an informed decision later in the process.

Remember that interviewers know how intimidating and nerve wracking answering questions about yourself is. Being nervous or showing signs of nervousness is not the end of the world, it’s only natural. True employers take this into account, and only focus on your qualities and skills in regards to desired ones.

Breathe. This is a simple one, but it’s the most useful. When you’ve done everything above (and maybe more) but you still are jittery, take slow, deep breaths. This slows your heart rate and can help you to think more logically about your stress. This can be done whenever you start thinking about the interview, all the way up to two minutes before they call you in.

Furthermore, yes you’re going to be nervous. But that doesn’t have to define your interview. Small steps, like the ones above, can help you begin to get used to interviewing and social interactions in a way that’s less daunting.

No, I don’t like talking to strangers or answering questions about my strengths or weaknesses. But that part is bearable when I think about how much I can offer as an individual.

As I’ve said before, you can’t let your anxiety control you but you can learn to better manage it. Simple calming, centering, or focusing techniques can do a world of wonders during an anxiety attack. They can also help in preventing one during, or leading up to important occasions.

Go in there and remember to be you. That’s all there is to do really. If you don’t get hired, that’s okay. It was good practice, and there are always more opportunities out there.

Interviews suck, but they’re a large part of adult life and something people have to work towards before they feel even close to comfortable.

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Forgive Yourself

Beautiful post. Very important. #mindfulness #itsokaytonotknow #focusonwhatyoucancontrol

Discovering Your Happiness

Hello loves, ❤

You have spent twenty-five years desperate for the approval of everyone around you. And you are just so tired of living your life for someone else. You are the first to admit that you are not anywhere near where you thought you would be at this point in your life. You are often your own worst critic, constantly blaming yourself for situations you have had little to no control over.

It’s time to forgive yourself. It’s okay. Every bad thing that happens to you is not your fault. Life is never going to stop changing, and you can’t torture yourself every time it takes a turn you didn’t plan for. I am beginning to see that life is not necessarily something you can plan; you cannot map out all of the details and expect it to follow all of the rules. Life is unpredictable and scary, but…

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The Influence of A Reliable Support System

<Possible Trigger Warning>

No matter what disorder you face in your day to day life, having at least a few people who you can turn to for advice, comforting, or healthy distractions can definitely make the journey a tad smoother. These bonds can be romantic, platonic, or beneficial in multiple different ways. There have been times where my life seemed to lack in social bonds, as well as periods where I felt nothing but love from those I surrounded myself with. Transitions and phases in this sector of your life are going to be almost constant, but should be welcomed with an open mind or else you will idle instead of continuing to grow and know yourself. Taking the good with the bad is key.

I find when I am overwhelmed with school work, social anxiety, or anything of that sort that linking up with someone I trust and enjoy talking to the most helpful. I may or may not talk directly about the subject that’s currently eating at me, but that’s okay. The tone generates the subject in this case, and I let it flow. I always feel refreshed afterwards. Sometimes this ‘talk’ may come in the form of a quick, condensed venting session to my friend, mom, or boyfriend via text; others, I go on a walk with them to vent and clear our heads. These talks are FOR you, so conduct them in the way you feel most comfortable and have good results in terms of releasing stress.

Other times, when it seems that I am the only person on the planet, I am actually craving social situations and locations because I tend to isolate myself a lot. Having people you can simply go get a coffee with, go to the park or gym with, or run a few necessary or for-fun errands with can make getting out of this grey area more accessible and appealing. I have all different kinds of relationships that I can relate to this area currently as it is something I have been working on. This isn’t something you have to push yourself to do everyday, just as you feel you need. Not only do you get your social fix, you also continue the bonds with the people you already care for: win-win!

If some of the sources of your mental health issues are linked to lost or damaged relationships in your life, maybe really focus on the main possible sources of failure for each. If it is a lack in communication, make a small  goal to increase contact with that specific person. Had the relationship fallen apart due to a misunderstanding and you find yourself wanting to repair it, reach out to the other person and express your wishes and emotions. Remember, you only have so much control in this situation; you don’t have a say over how they will react but you can at least do your part in initiating a rekindling. Continue to use small goals as a main motivator with any perceived ‘wrongdoing’ or mistake, keeping them small enough so that they’re 100% obtainable. This will offer a great amount of motivation and encouragement; you’ll be amazed at how far you’ll get.

Overall, it is extremely crucial to ensure you maintain reliable connections to some people you wholeheartedly trust and value. My parents, boyfriend, and friends are some of the most amazing resources and blessings I have in my life. They offer endless support, love, and pure awesomeness. Even during dips in my mental health, I can turn to these people without fear of judgement or rejection. They are anchors at times when I feel myself floating away and can’t seem to get grounded.

This doesn’t mean I dump everything to them all of the time, because that is unfair to them; everyone deals with heavy things, despite whether they talk about it ever or not, so they can only handle so much of other peoples’ things on top of it. If you need to talk and get it out, that’s fine; just avoid making this a habit for every time you and that person hangout. That wouldn’t be beneficial either to you or them and would only weaken the ties between each other. Also try to have multiple ways you can understand and release negative energies like journalism, art, music, exercise, etc. and not solely relying on venting.

P.S. Professional help is another type of network that can be beneficial. Of course it’s not for everyone, just like most things in life, it’s highly subjective. I personally have tried counseling at two different periods in my life, one in my early teens and one now at age 19. In my younger years, I didn’t enjoy the appointments and found they only increased the symptoms of both my depression and anxiety; I also didn’t feel connected to my therapist. Now, however, I feel a strong tie to my psychotherapist. I don’t feel the need or want to hold anything back, there’s an obvious feeling of neutrality in her responses which is refreshing, and she helps me make plans and set goals that are exciting and feasible. Just as in any relationship, the counselor-patient relationship matters in terms of trust and comfortableness. Without it, the sessions could be rather useless and you may never see the results you wish for.